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| "it is my desire as a girl to be described as indescribable.
indescribable girls. you know the type. the ones that don't fit in square holes, that can be defined only by their idiosyncrasies, that steal your heart while you're tying your shoelaces or looking over your shoulders.
i want to be the kind of girl who's personality can't be explicitly expressed. when you try to describe me to someone else, words don't do justice and you're left grasping at ideas and impressions, trying to explain how my hair smells in the summer or how my machine-gun laughter can puncture your eardrums but take weights off your chest.
when you see me, everything is intangible like starshine and nothing quite makes sense, and you can't explain why but you like it, and you get that feeling in your chest that either means you want to sing or burp.
and when you leave me, you'll find i'm like the burrs you can't pick off your socks after running through dry grass, and you may try to forget about me, but when you least expect it you'll feel a prickle and you'll remember me as that one girl you knew everything and nothing about. "
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i'm simply romanticizing a concept. quirky and odd girls in real life have a stigma. they come off less like star girl or juno or luna lovegood and more like they're contagious and if they breathe on you you might catch their nonconformity in a socially fatal way (unlike being "indie", which is the socially desirable mode of nonconformity).
still, i think most girls wants to be special and to have the chance of being the one girl he can never forget.
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| It's late and I'm feeling so tired, having trouble sleeping.
...Actually, I'm not that tired at all. WHY AM I NOT TIRED?
I re-read a lot of old entries. Either I'm really vain or I just like the familiarity of my words, but I thought a lot of things were well-written and interesting. Haha...yeah, probably just vain. Oops. My creative outbursts alternate in the form of writing and art; lately, it's been the art. Reading my xanga makes me want to write again. I'm so fickle.
I really need to sleep.
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| I wouldn't think I was worth the $20 and three hours of driving, either.
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| Ever since I saw the movie, I wondered what I would look like to Shallow Hal. Would I look the same as I am? Better? Worse?
This was the first weekend I stayed in Davis. It was fun with the concert and hanging out with my sisters, but of course there are things I miss from home ;)
Also, I felt bad whenever I was in my room because I think my roommate wanted her privacy with her boyfriend here, hehe. Both of us decided to stay our first weekend on the same week! Bah. Well, actually she drove him home so she's staying home for tonight. Thus I get the room to myself, as usual on a Sunday night. And man, I'm tired already.
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